Today is a day I once longed for; however, for the past five months I have dreaded June 10th. You see, today is baby Hunter's due date. After his death, the sting lessened as the weeks went by, but over the past few weeks, the sting, the pain, the heartache, and the "why" questions have all resurfaced. There are days I get bogged down in the "why". Thankfully though, I don't set up camp there. As much as this day brings me pain, it also brings me hope. Hebrews 13:14 says "For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to a city in heaven, which is yet to come". The days that are dark and painful and full of satan's lies, I rest in God's promise that this is not all there is. I do not deserve a heavenly home, but He saved us, not because we deserve it, but because of His mercy. I know that even though I never got to know his personality, or hear his sweet little baby laugh, or watch him take his first steps or swing at a baseball, I will see him one day. "For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down - when we die and leave these bodies - we will have a home in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands" 2 Corinthians 5:1. While he has an earthly body buried in a grave, albeit, a teeny, tiny one, he is not there. His body will forever be perfect. He will never know the sorrows of this world, and in that, I find complete peace.
While my heart does still ache oh so much to be separated from my baby boy, my heart aches even more to know there are people who will never know this peace I have. The peace that comes from Christ. Heaven is going to be amazing, and I have a new longing to see it one day. Heaven is oh so real, which means hell is oh so real too. It is a place of eternal separation from Christ. A place of eternal torture. A place full of evil and hate. 2 Peter 3:9-10 says "...He does not want
anyone to perish, so he is giving more time for everyone to repent. But the day of the Lord will come as unexpectedly as thief..." As unexpected as it was for us to lose our son so quickly, it will be the same with Christ's return. Time is running out. The choice is up to you. Will you choose life or will you choose death?
